Detroit is not New York. When I talk to my friends living in more popular cities they always ask me, “so how is Detroit?” It’s a reasonable, banal enough question for typical small talk, and maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it feels like I’m being asked about some exotic far off land. “So how is living in Antarctica?” “How is your trip to the moon going?” The truth is that on the surface, Detroit is not all that different from anywhere else I’ve lived. For my fellow Brooklynites, there’s more than a few coffee shops to satisfy your need to catch up with friends, and to my college friends, there are several cool music venues and bars to fill your weekends with something to talk about come Monday. Little has surprised me since I moved here. I knew there would be blight, I knew there was a bustling downtown, I knew there would be young people. So what is the biggest culture shock I’ve experienced since moving here? The conversation.

I drove home a few weeks ago and as I was exiting my car, my neighbor approached me and introduced himself. This doesn’t happen where I’m from. In fact, the only time I spoke to my neighbor in Brooklyn was when he chastised me for being too loud the weekend before. Seriously, this is a big deal to me. In Detroit, anyone can become someone to you. People are friendly and open, anyone can go from stranger to acquaintance in a matter of minutes, they might even skip a few steps and end up becoming a new friend.

I love New York (truly), but that’s not how community works there. Community in New York is commodity. It is based on what schools you can afford to go to, which neighborhoods you can afford to live in, the yoga studio you choose, where you get your morning coffee. Community is place, and place is bought in New York. Shared spaces are filler. You don’t lock eyes with anyone on the subway, and you don’t pay any mind when you’re walking down the street. After all, if you stop and chat with a stranger you might be late for that gallery opening you were invited to.

Detroit is not New York, and it never will be. Detroit will never have the biggest buildings, or the most chic bars, or the largest tourism industry. What it does have, and what it will have, is given to it completely by its residents. This is a grassroots city being rebuilt from the ground up. Detroit will give America an opportunity to redefine what makes a great city.