Reflections are difficult.  In a society that is constantly racing ahead, we rarely take the time to look back and evaluate the past.  Furthermore, it can be difficult to understand why we acted a certain way, responded to something the way we did, or felt a specific feeling, because we have already changed so drastically since the given situation.  Reflecting on my Challenge Detroit year, however, a few words come to mind: pride, growth, humility, self-awareness, community, and hope.

Pride is a big one.  Throughout my life, I have been fortunate to attend pinnacle educational institutions.  Immediately after graduating from college, I landed a position at a small, but prestigious, consulting firm in the San Francisco Bay Area.  In my previous 22 years, I became comfortably complacent receiving constant compliments about my educational and professional achievements.  Accepting a spot with Challenge Detroit (wrongly) rocked this stasis.  Friends, family, and colleagues could not understand or accept that I would be leaving my hard-earned job on the “Best” Coast, and moving to Detroit.  It was gut-wrenching to feel like I was disappointing my parents, and as the number of days between leaving my job and beginning Challenge Detroit shrunk, I began to worry I made the wrong choice.  Now, nearly 15 months after leaving my job, I feel nothing but pride for my choice.  I took a risk on Detroit, the city I am proud to call home, and I am proud of myself for doing so.  The lessons I have learned and experiences I have had are remarkable, and would have been missed had I stayed in my comfort zone in California.

Growth, humility, and self-awareness are all tied together.  This year I have suffered setbacks in many arenas.  I sprained my ankle, which sidelined me from my normal daily habit and solace of running, and brought with it extreme mental turmoil.  I was rejected from a grant program I desperately hoped to be a part of in 2015.  I received the reality check that I was not, in fact, entitled to swoop in and save Detroit, but rather I must first slowly and genuinely join its community, to then work with my neighbors to revitalize our home.  Professionally, I learned the delicate balance of listening more than I speak, and to be assertive while polite and respectful.  As a member of several Challenge Teams, I learned to not drive from the back seat, and to empower my leader by doing the best I could at my assigned role.  Looking to my future, I have grown to respect my own heart and intuition, and not let others’ opinions steer my own ship.

Community is something that became more important to me this year.  Growing up, I was fiercely independent.  I believed in doing everything for myself, and always preferred solo assignments.  I had plenty of friends, and loved my family dearly, but deep down, felt that I was going it alone.  Challenge Detroit changed that.  Having 29 friends, colleagues, and, ultimately, family members who are sharing your experiences is a powerful thing.  Challenge Detroit did not artificially seek to force community upon us; as fellows, we organically built it on our own.  Furthermore, a feeling of community is palpable in Detroit more than any outsider could imagine.  It is difficult to describe, and I hesitate to throw out buzzwords that used to light me up like a hippie at Woodstock, but there is something transcendent in Detroit that looks like the expression of pure joy and gratitude of COTS clients receiving their first homes.  And it feels like the weight of the last pile of debris dropping off of your shovel near the stage in Lindale Gardens.  And it sounds like the laughter of children enjoying the green space at the Dequindre Cut.  And it smells like the fresh rubber of brand new bike tires enjoying safe bike lanes racing down Michigan Avenue.  And all you can do is thank God, or your lucky stars, or fate, that you are a part of it.

Hope, in Detroit, is, at times, contagious, and, at others, fleeting.  I have the highest hopes for my city.  Reflecting back on the year, I don’t think I always have.  I think at times I let myself succumb to pessimism.  At times, the idea of revitalization seemed insurmountable and too vast.  It’s not.  I am doing it.  Last year’s fellows are helping.  Next year’s fellows are about to join the fight.  There’s so much hope.

I am sad to finish this blog entry because I am sad to finish Challenge Detroit.  I will be forever grateful, though, for my year of memories, and for my year of pride, growth, humility, self-awareness, community, and hope.