If it is possible to love a place that frightens you, then all that follows is true.

If at any point in my life you had tried to tell me I would move to Detroit, I would have politely ignored you. Detroit was a place for activists. Detroit was a place for artists. Detroit was a place for people with a plan. For better or worse I never had one of those. I knew that I loved people. I knew that I loved honesty. I knew that I loved media. Anything beyond those facts felt out of my control during my senior year of college. Yet here I am, typing to you from the city that so many seek to avoid.

When I was younger, home was my favorite word in the entire world. With it came a clear understanding of where I belonged. My 23 year old self is much less certain of this definition. Every time I apply for a position my mind flashes six years ahead. Will I be happy? Will I be loved? Will I be myself? And most importantly will I find a cat friendly apartment? As I began my Detroit adventure these worries only dug in deeper. Nothing made sense during my apartment hunt. Midtown this. New Center this. Gentrification that. The funny thing is that I did not even end up finding an apartment. I am writing to you from a house in the University District. I live with four roommates, four cats, two dogs, and one tenacious beta fish named Cornelius. Our floors creak and I am terrified of the heating bills to come, but in tiny moments I am beginning to realize that the concept of home has never been so clear. The physicality of my surroundings has afforded me a level of peace I did not expect to have this early into my Detroit story. I could write entire blogs about our pets, the marathon of putting together my IKEA dresser, and even about my trials and tribulations with the famed ‘Michigan Left’. However for the sake of my brevity and your sanity, I will abbreviate my sentiments about Detroit. I love it here.

In every instance of expressed love there is a natural moment of doubt. As I am a creature more social than most, I have lived what feels like entire lifetimes in these moments. In the case of Hannah + Detroit the relationship is not yet clear. In every interaction with this storied town I seek affirmation that I have made the right choice. My head is clouded at best. My days are filled with peaks and quick declines. I have gone from being inspired by the majestic ability of this city to persevere to being gravely concerned about my safety during the simple act of pumping gas. I am frightened to commit to a place that has let down so many before me. I am frightened to live in place where inequality sits above all else. I am frightened to know that I might be part of the problem.

In the coming year not every moment will be bright and shiny. I know there will be times when this city disappoints me. Yet there will also be times when I am afforded amazing opportunities to participate in a culture committed to progress. Most importantly, I am here. I care. I can. I not sure what will manifest from this combination of fear and amazement, but I am sure that it will make for a great story.