It has only been ten months since I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree from Kalamazoo College. At times, it feels like my old life in Kalamazoo, living with six of my closest friends and writing my senior thesis from various quiet corners of campus, happened a lifetime ago. How could only ten months have passed since my move to Detroit? I’ve met so many people! Done so many things! Helped to create a narrative directory of small local businesses, presented on my group’s findings of parent-teacher relations in the public school system, rescued a litter of stray kittens, got a new ear piercing. And yet sometimes, I have this sense of being static with undercurrents of restlessness. I am in a state of flux with boundaries so far in the distance, I don’t know where to move and therefore remain still. Too dramatic? Maybe.

I recently watched the TED Talk given by Meg Jay titled “Why 30 is not the new 20” (thanks Geraldine!). In her presentation, the clinical psychologist lays out how far too many people dangerously view their 20s as the decade to “kill time” and procrastinate until their 30s, when real decisions about life have to be made. Jay argues, though, that this is the time when people should be laying the foundations for a healthy life, both personally and professionally, and that it is important to build personal capital and network so that our 30s and beyond go smoothly.  She gave numerous statistical factoids and anecdotes alike to support her position, which made the talk both enlightening and anxiety-inducing. Sure, I’m not sitting at home twiddling my thumbs, but am I doing enough to secure myself a successful and fulfilling life years down the road?

Just the other week,  I assisted in organizing a Next4Vets session which Beaumont hosted. Next4Vets is a program through Inforum that offers sessions for female veterans to network and how to best represent themselves in the civilian workforce. There are several half-day classes that occur during enrollment in a session, which take place at various supporting host companies.  As one requirement, Inforum asks that all host companies provide a guest speaker, preferably a woman in the company who is also a veteran who can share her experiences and pieces of wisdom. Nancy Susick, the president of Beaumont Hospital Troy and a veteran of the US Navy, fit the bill and was gracious enough to come and speak to the group. Even though I am not a military veteran, I found her presentation and life story very inspiring and a great way to start the session. I continued to observe in the back of the room as two facilitators took turns presenting about the emotion curve of transitions, how to compartmentalize and utilize one’s power, and ran group exercises. I found that much of the day’s teachings were relevant to me, even without having had the arduous transition from a military environment into the civilian workforce. Without being a part of the veteran community, I understand that its members have an automatic closeness with one another without having any further information. Veterans understand the physical, emotional and psychological turmoil that another had to go through far more than I ever will, and this bond is heightened even more so among the female population. And so it was empowering, and a privilege, for me to sit amongst a group of female veterans and observe how they listened to each other’s stories. They all felt a sense of relief when others acknowledged needing a sense of purpose and duty at their current jobs, something that is not always shared with their non-veteran colleagues.

(If you have 30 minutes you don’t know what to do with, spend it with Oprah.)