We all worry about failure and handle it differently. We’re all constantly thinking about what we have to do in order to avoid it, arguing with ourselves to make sure we’re doing what must be done in order to succeed. I’ve spent the past year talking about setting goals and staying positive all while planning and executing, but what happens when things don’t go just as planned?

As we wrap up our last month with Challenge Detroit (seriously went by so fast!) I’m reflecting (as always) on my goals and measuring my success. One look at my Dream Board and I’m already cutting it close to accomplishing my goals of buying a house, falling in love, or attending grad school, but have I failed at each of these? No.

No, because I’m working on my credit, and I’m on the verge of paying off all of my credit cards. I’m establishing a healthy economic foundation that will allow me to purchase a house when the time comes, which could still be this year. Yet, if it doesn’t, have I failed? No.

Falling in love? I can’t say that I’ve failed at this either because instead of falling in love with somebody else, I have falling deeper in love with myself and have grown grateful for my choice to be alone. I’ve realized that men and love come easy, but having it stay is hard. Are all relationships worth the fight? All worth the anxiety? I don’t think so. I’ve learned that the only person worth all of these things is yourself. Once I’m in a better position in life where I can handle the challenges that come with relationships I will, but for now I’m trying to overcome my own personal challenges. So have I failed at this? No, I think that I stay winning.

That leaves me with grad school and further developing my career. This is probably the hardest only because I’m making it hard on myself, constantly compromising. I know that if I was to fail at this it would hit me hard, but this is why I need to convince myself to see failure and success in a different way.

If things don’t go as planned, that has to be because God has opened a different door, or at least a window to let in some air while the next door opens. I’ve realized that when things don’t happen when they’re “suppose to” it’s because it wasn’t suppose to happen, and life is giving you other options. Are these bad? No, take them! You never where these take you.

Originally I wanted to buy a house this year, but I may not be able to finish paying off my credit cards until the end of 2016, so I compromise. I’ll work on my credit now and do my housing research, but I’ll try to buy a home again in 2017 if need be.

I may not have found “the one” but I have allowed myself to try to love and learn from many others, this proved to be just as useful as falling head over heels. I’ve focused on loving myself and feel confident that this is all I will ever need.

School? I’m applying to four different schools, instead of the top ten (because this in application fees alone will be expensive) and will hopefully attend in 2017, instead of this year.

Do you ever go back and try to change your goals? Find a happy middle? Find a compromise? You may be incredibly hard on yourself the same way I am, but I realized that I should be the one giving myself the most slack. There’s nothing wrong with changing your goals and compromising some for a different time, or admitting that it’s not going exactly as planned. It’s okay. Change your plan. You’ll be surprised at how much you actually accomplish when you allow yourself to not only reflect, but adjust and make those needed compromises with yourself that will allow the universe to help you succeed.