“Be patient, you are coming home to yourself.” – Nayyirah Waheed

I feel like I probably have a post titled “Home” from earlier in the year. What can I say – concussions bring about deja vu? And also a slew of blog posts and reflections apparently.

This week was an exercise in patience. In learning how to sit at home. And not do anything. And not think about anything. And let go.

It was hard. To not jump at everything that came my way, to not respond right as soon as I saw something, to not react (or at least try to). But when you have a limited amount of energy to spare, it has a way of naturally cutting out the extra.

There are a few things that have been on my mind to do recently, but I’ve hesitated because it hasn’t felt like the right time. I’ve been feeling the pressure – to act, to take initiative, to put something out there. I just haven’t been able to for some reason.

When I was little I was often given this piece of advice (and I very stubbornly refused to internalize it each time):

“Waqt se pehle aur kismat se zyada kuch nahi milta hai.”

Roughly translated, it means that you never get more than what you are destined for before your time. (Patience has never been my thing.) Recently though, this has proven to be true over and over again.

I know there’s a fine line between waiting to be ready and diving in. But in a world where a 24-hour news cycle and Snapchat exist simultaneously, there are so many opportunities for instant action and gratification. It’s easier now more than ever to cater to impulses. It almost seems like  letting some things pass by, taking time not to act, not to give into the pressure to react is an act of activism in itself.