Growing up in Detroit, I’ve watched many people fall to a discouraging outlook. All too often, I’ve heard words like “it’s too late for me,” “I don’t have another option,” or “this is all I know.” These people are submerged in negativity making it difficult to convince them otherwise. And here lies the problem. Endurance through hardship—the platform that success stories are built on—is disproportionately leading to extinguished hopes and dreams.

Adversity withers you in such a way that it becomes difficult to envision a world without it. Through prolonged exposure to challenges, it is very easy to become accustomed to a survival mentality. This mindset presents itself as complacency with just trying to stay afloat. Every action is an effort to counter daily struggles and the result of a lifestyle stifled by a lack of faith in one’s own abilities. Why is it that some are able to rise above while the many give up?

It’s surprising how a simple lack of confidence can paralyze people. Something must be done to prevent people from falling into this trap. I once felt trapped in such an environment, but I maneuvered out of it. And I’ve witnessed that same environment wither strong people to the core. I am certain that there is a way out for everyone. This is how I imagine we would get there.

Everyone should have a code to live by or something that they are fighting for. It’s necessary because we will always need something to refer back to when the road is rough. It’s the compass for navigation and the only thing that remains when all else has seemingly shattered into pieces. We derive resilience from our cause; it is our motivation to fight relentlessly. To stop is to accept defeat.

That relentless spirit represents discipline in our efforts to overcome and understanding of our situation. You can become what you see all around you, but you don’t have to. Guns, drugs, violence, poverty and all of the other negativity we see are a product of specific decisions that the collective community has made. It’s an average of both the good and bad we put out there. But, even with a modest effort, we can shift the weight towards positivity.

With this we must recognize that both good and bad things will happen. Both happiness and sadness will arise. It’s a fact of life. So, when they do arise we must appreciate them for what they are. We all make mistakes and we must learn from them while doing our best not to repeat them. If at first we don’t succeed, we dust ourselves off and try again. And if we must mourn, we mourn, but we don’t wade in our tears. Sometimes we feel a need to ask, “Why?” But oftentimes, things just happen and once they have, what’s done is done. The real question is, “What is the next move?”

We won’t always know what that next move is and that’s 100% fine. That is why we must practice embracing uncertainty. And in that uncertainty, we must dare to dream while using what we do know to devise a plan. To be confident in our actions is to trust in the process. We set our sights on the target and pursue it ceaselessly. Still, we must be savvy enough to recognize that no plan is foolproof and therefore, the plan may change. Yet, we remain prepared no matter the opposition.

Though there will be many obstacles along the road to our goals, the only real formidable opponent lies within. It is us. Survival mentality is paradoxical because it is self-defeating in the long run. It leaves us in stasis, unaware or in disbelief that there is so much more for us. We must be open and honest with ourselves and others about what troubles us. We then must be kind enough to share our wisdom with each other. Though the problem lies within us, so does the solution. You cannot and you should not travel this road alone. The answer is we. Together we can stop surviving and start excelling.

Greg is an engineer and social change agent with a talent for taking things apart and putting them back together. Follow on Instagram/Twitter @stemavenue