Like I mentioned before, the work that we will do as Fellows in the next year and beyond in Detroit will begin with our own personal and professional development. I’m sure that is part of the reason for the intense orientation, numerous leadership days, exposure to cultural events, and networking opportunities built into the CD schedule. Therefore when looking at vulnerability and shame we must begin with ourselves. Anyone exploring these concepts must start with self awareness.

Scarcity

Brene Brown, the researcher-storyteller, begins there with looking at our culture of “never enough.”

We can ALL fill in the blank “Never ____enough.”

Never perfect enough. Never rich enough. Never smart enough. Never extraordinary enough. Never enough sleep. Never enough time. Never successful enough.

Brene Brown calls this “never enough” problem scarcity. And scarcity thrives in “shame-prone cultures that are deeply steeped in comparison and fractured by disengagement” (Daring Greatly, p. 27). Sound familiar? It sounds like America to me.

Our culture is to compare ourselves, our lives, our families, our relationships, our belongings, and our communities to each other and “strive for unattainable, media-driven visions of perfection.” And this results in a culture or social system riddled with:

• shame (where people are fearful of ridicule and belittling, self-worth is ties to achievement, productivity, or compliance, and perfectionism is the norm)
• comparison (the unhealthy, crippling kind), and
• disengagement (where people are afraid to try new things, voice their opinion, and share stories, experiences, and ideas).

Bear with me and this example of scarcity on an individual level – during orientation leaders provided the Fellows with numerous recommendations. One of them was to seek honest feedback, embrace it, and grow from it. This is incredibly difficult for many, most, probably all people to do; partly because it feeds into our culture of never enough. “What if they say I am not _____ enough. I am never going to be ____ enough…” Well, sure, we all probably have something we want to work on and honest feedback will help us get there. But recognizing that we are enough is the first step.

Enough

The opposite of scarcity and never enough is not necessarily abundance. The opposite of scarcity is enough. It is wholeheartedness. It is knowing that you are enough. It is being grateful and thankful for what you have and where you are, being vulnerable, and knowing that you are worthy.

Source: Odyssey

I am not perfect, but I am enough. I am where I need to be, with what I need right now, and I am so incredibly full of gratitude.