I’ve been in discussions with a few friends about how one’s likability affects how far they get in the world and how the people you interact with perceive and accept your ideas. There are people at all levels who  have challenging thoughts and ideas and important things to say, but find it hard to bend the ears of people who don’t like them as a person. Junot Diaz unpacks this idea and names it the “axis of like” in the clip below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLhpASeC9JI#t=2657

At different points in my life I think I would give such a person different advice. As a rebellious adolescent, I would have said that attempting to become more likable is tantamount to self-betrayal and pandering. As a college student learning the art of persuasion, I would have said that you can package any message in a way that will sway your intended audience, if you’re skilled enough. Now, I’m not so certain. While I somehow still loosely hold both beliefs simultaneously, I can’t help but agree with Junot:

“Is it possible to be in a conversation with people where our relationship was determined by something more complicated than whether you like me or not? Maybe the content of my communication, in itself, is worthy of discussion, regardless of how you felt at an emotional level with the person bringing the news.”

Going forward, I think it’s important to consider the content, not just the source of the ideas. I’ve absolutely been guilty of dismissing concepts because they came from a person that I didn’t care for, and I’ve also been ignored or silenced for not being likable enough. Expanding the idea to Detroit as a whole, I think the inhabitants can be quite closed to outsiders and outside ideas. Anything from without is perceived as a threat to what’s left of the city after so many insiders and outsiders pillaged and abandoned it. Maybe it’s time for us to evaluate the merit of ideas and voices based on their content, not whether we like who its coming from.