I am 22 years old, single, just out of college, and have 5 kids. That statement – “my kids” – earns a lot of very confused looks from most people.

No, I’m not a mom. But I am a soccer coach.

When I moved to Detroit in June of 2015 I knew two things. The first is that I knew I wanted to make an impact. The second was that I didn’t know anything at all. So I decided that in order to make an impact, I was going to have to find something that I did know.

But that wasn’t soccer. I barely know anything about soccer actually. My soccer knowledge is about equivalent to that of a U-8 player which really only leaves me qualified to coach players younger than that. And there you have it; I am U-6 soccer coach. I’ve coached U-6 for four years in Virginia where I am from and because I knew how to coach soccer but didn’t really know anything about Detroit, that is where my impact and my learning would start.

Let’s review a few of my biggest coaching points for children ages 4-6.
1. We don’t cry. We smile. Wipe your tears.
2. Hands are not allowed. Feet only, please.
3. But no toes, never toes (This one is really confusing).
4. Instep and laces. Dribble and strike.
5. We can pick the dandelions and do cartwheels after practice, but not right now.
6. Score in this goal, but NOT the other goal.

We, the U-6 Thunder of Northwest Detroit, are just beginning our season but I am already able to see my impact. Some of my kids knew almost nothing about soccer before our first practice. And they still don’t know all that much, but they are getting there. What they have learned a lot more quickly than how to kick and run at the same time is more important to that.

Byron is my strongest player. He can take it straight to the goal all by himself. But after only one game, somewhere in his tiny five-year-old brain, Byron realized how important it was to be able to empower another team member to shoot on goal too.

Khalil is my “only child.” When the other team scores the only thing I hear is, “Coach Kay, it’s not fair! They cheated.” No Khalil, they did not. But after only one game, Khalil got tough, wiped his tears on my shirt, and realized that if he ran instead of crying he could stop the team from scoring. He will grow up and be one hell of a defender.

Janae is my oldest player. She is bigger and stronger and tougher than the rest of the team. She knows how tough she is and at school it gets her in trouble. So much trouble that after the first game her mom asked me to have a talk with her. After that talk Janae turned her behavior around right quick in her 1st grade class so that she could come to soccer practice with her new friends and continue wearing her pink shin guards.

Marco is my silliest kid. He will kick the ball as hard as he can and not realize that he’s crossed four soccer fields and is amongst the U-19 players. Marco has realized that he has to listen when I say stop and also to everything else that adults say. And that anywhere outside the lines is lava and we can’t step in lava. Coach gotta do what a coach gotta do.

Moms can’t pick favorites but I think that coaches can. Akeylah is my favorite. Key is my littlest and quietest player. Her neon jersey is a Youth XS and it still swallows her. Key will run as fast as she can to the ball and will often beat all the other players there. But once in front of the ball she will look at me, terrified, like she is too afraid to kick it. Akeylah still won’t kick the ball. After our second game though, Akeylah got tired of the haters. “Key, we practice big kicks all the time at home. You gotta show me in the game,” begged her father. “But DAD. I had FUN.” Akeylah replied.

In that moment I was the happiest 22nd year old coach/mom in all of youth soccer.

Impact looks different to everyone. It is easy to claim that community service is all about those that are being impacted, but I don’t believe that’s true. Giving back to your community needs to be meaningful to both parties: those giving and those receiving. I found my impact TO and FROM the City of Detroit through my kids. I earn fulfillment every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday when I run around with a bunch of 5 year olds who will understand the game of soccer far better than I do in only 3 short years. My only true goal is that they all fall in love with soccer enough to come back as U-8 players and can really start to develop their skills. But until then I’m happy with the every day wins. It’s a good thing we don’t keep score.