I recently took a day trip into the wild lands of Canada. While I can\u2019t be certain, I can say with some conviction that I believe I am the first Kentuckian to ever visit Canada*. And, because I\u2019m just such a stand-up guy, I\u2019m going to share some interesting thoughts and experiences, so if any other Kentuckians decided to head off to that great white north, they will be soundly prepared**.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
With that said, I present to you —<\/p>\n
\u2018A Kentuckians guide to Detroit pt.3 – International Edition: A Kentuckians guide to Canada\u2019.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s a working title.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 1-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Poutine<\/strong>– A traditional meal of both Canadians and the potentially been over-served and are seeking some solace in foodstuffs in the pre-dawn hours.<\/p>\n Sorry Kentuckians, I\u2019ll translate— over-served to y\u2019all would be something akin to \u2018THAT ONE TIME BOBBY SUCKED DOWN SO MANY OF THOSE BUD LIGHTS HE WAS HAPPIER THAN A DAMNED SKEETER ON A DONKEYS ASS IN JULY!\u2019<\/p>\n It consists of fries (that got y\u2019alls attention, didn\u2019t it!<\/em>), gravy (apparently you can put it on something other than biscuits- who knew!<\/em>) and cheese curds (I haven\u2019t a damned clue what a curd is but since they\u2019re in such a close relationship with cheese, I\u2019ll give it a suspicious try.<\/em>)<\/p>\n Nothing about Poutine makes sense, and that should make all the sense in the world to a Kentuckian.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0KPH & MPH<\/strong><\/p>\n Canadians love to go fast! It\u2019s like if NASCAR was a country, it\u2019d be Canada. All the speed limit signs are between 80 and 100. They usually all say KPH on them, from what I can assume, that is someone going around and scrawling their initials onto them.<\/p>\n 3- Tim Hortons<\/strong><\/p>\n Tims. Timmy\u2019s. Timmy H\u2019s. Tim Ho\u2019s.<\/p>\n Whatever you call it, this place is seemingly the official coffee shop of Canada. It has everything. Coffee, donuts, more coffee, and donuts with maple syrup on them. Don\u2019t bother asking for directions to any other coffee shop, because you\u2019ll just get directions to the nearest Tim Hortons. They average one location per city block throughout the entire country of Canada.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4- Hockey<\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t know much about hockey. But I\u2019ll try to have this make sense.<\/p>\n Remember that time you and your cousin Elroy got in a scrap? Hockey is kinda like that. Except they wear boots with blades on the bottom, everyone carries a stick around and has a beard like Gandalf, and there are approximately 75-100 teeth per entire professional hockey team.<\/p>\n It\u2019s almost like a dance- They punch the hell out of each another, score some goals, hug it out and then go drink 40 beers to celebrate literally anything. These people are going faster on blades across ice than you or I went that one time we stole Uncle Lou\u2019s ATV with the souped-up engine that ran off of moonshine.<\/p>\n Takeaway- Canadians love hockey with an unapologetic enthusiasm second to none.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n *definitely not the first.<\/em><\/p>\n **this is all going to be terrible advice.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Don’t take any wooden nickels,\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Everett\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I recently took a day trip into the wild lands of Canada. While I can\u2019t be certain, I can say with some conviction that I believe I am the first Kentuckian to ever visit Canada*. And, because I\u2019m just such a stand-up guy, I\u2019m going to share some interesting thoughts and experiences, so if any […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":133,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,282],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-detroit","category-reflection"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18799","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/133"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18799"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18799\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18799"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18799"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedetroit.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18799"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}