*freeze frame*

Guess you wonder how we got here, huh?

Detroit, “Zebrahead,” is set in your city and is one of the films dedicated to social reaction to interracial relations of varying sorts. Filmed in the early 90s, starring Michael Rapaport and N’Bushe Wright (don’t get me started on “Dead Presidents”), the film tackles the budding relationship between the two as teens with starkly contrasted social backgrounds and skin tones. I love the movie, actually. It’s not groundbreaking or anything, but the characters don’t look at their relationship as something which is turning the world on its axis. These characters are just living, not making a statement.

Now, 2018Detroit? Living in that 2kstudioloftDetroit? There’s something about a city on the rise (per headlines) which seems to attract people who believe they’re making a statement by breathing a particular way. Much like my thoughts on recent transplants who were afraid of Detroit 5 years ago– do not effectively tokenize your partners. You cannot offset your bias just because of a social circle. If your partner runs the risk of having their “Get Out” moment when they join your family during major events? You really aren’t as evolved as you thought.

Yes, relationships can break down walls, but if you’re really committed to putting in the work, this will be at play long before you’ve decided you’re attracted to someone. You will work to transform spaces that you see lacking diversity, your friend group will change, you will make people uncomfortable by challenging the remarks they would only share with people they assume share the same perception. You will see genuine value in the stranger across the room and accept (not ignore) their differences. We should not have to shame differences to get along. (RIP Rodney King)

Your relationships, both platonic and romantic, should transform your existence. You should be able to give to those around you as much as they give to you. Honestly, if you find yourself listing the ways in which they’ve enriched your life by broadening your perspective of race and culture, but you have not given similarly? You may have work to do. They deserve more, right?

If you were wondering. Yes, “Zebrahead” does get a little 90s movie in an urban space cliche– someone gets shot. I’m pretty sure Zach and Nikki do not live happily ever after to make it into Gilbert’s Detroit.