Over the years I have lived in several different locations. Right before moving to Detroit, I lived in South Korea for two years, and in two different cities throughout my time there. You would think I’d be an expert at adjusting to new places and starting new jobs. I may be better at it than many, but it’s still a struggle for me. There is always that awkward period where you are trying to carve out a space for yourself, find your tribe and that feeling of belongingness. I am currently in that awkward period.
I have officially lived in Detroit for 6 months now. I’ve been able to form a few solid friendships (being in the fellowship program helps with that), I have somewhat of a routine and a sense of comfort at my host company and I feel the challenge projects are not as confusing now that I’ve been through the process a few times. However, I still do not 100% feel like Detroit is “home” for me. I was having a conversation with another fellow the other day, and we came to a consensus that “home” is the place where you have the strongest and most fulfilling connections with others.
We are living during a time when everything happens very quickly. We don’t like to wait and prefer to use methods that can speed things up a bit; accessing transportation, finding a date, getting a meal, communicating with others…we have apps for all of that now. However, some things just can’t be rushed, and no matter how uncomfortable it may be, you have to go on the journey to reach the destination. I was talking to my dad about my experience living in a new location and he told me, “well you will probably have to wait at least 3 years to truly feel like it’s home”. My immediate thought was, “No! I want Detroit to feel like home now! I want a solid social network now! I want to have deep connections with my co workers now”!
That’s not how things always wor
k though. Patience is becoming a lost art and I want to work on discovering it for myself. I have a dry erase board in my room where I post encouraging messages that I can see first thing when I get out of bed in the morning. The three bullet points I currently have on the board are:
• Job success doesn’t happen overnight
• Relationship building takes time/effort
• What are you doing today to see the results you want tomorrow?
I need to have faith and recognize that just because I may sometimes feel disconnected from my community now doesn’t mean that I will feel disconnected always. Putting in the work can be exhausting, and oftentimes I get tired of being around new people and engaging in awkward conversations with new acquaintances. I wish I could get a dollar for every time I get the, “what do you do”? question in the span of a week.
It’s all a part of the journey of settling in a new city and starting a new job, and as long as I put forth the time and effort, I will inevitably start seeing the results that I seek. I guess I’ll stay encouraged and enjoy the newness of it all, allowing the future possibilities of “what could be” excite me.
-Gabrial Taylor:
Year 5 Challenge Detroit Fellow