There are so many thoughts spinning around in my head as I write this. One of them is that I’m really tired and would prefer to be sleeping. However, I made the decision to blog now because I wanted to share the emotions that I feel tonight before I have the time to decide against it.

I chose to do Challenge Detroit because I care about this city and about the people living here. It’s time for me to turn my caring into action and I view this fellowship as an opportunity for me to learn how to best serve the community here.

There’s a joke about a person in an interview who says their weakness is that they “care too much”.  It’s funny and it’s probably a cop-out, but the words “I care too much” have been on-repeat in my mind all day. It’s so hard for me not to care, and yet, it’s so hard to care. What I mean by that is that caring isn’t convenient.  Caring causes you to stand out in a sea of selfie-centered people. It makes you sound “crazy” and “annoying”. It brings you down and stirs up feels. It makes you ugly cry in front of people. Sometimes I feel the weight of caring physically when it turns into a head-ache, or when my shoulders get tense and rock-hard. Other times I get tired of caring. It’s draining and it’s soul-crushing because caring alone doesn’t solve issues, it just brings them to your attention. And once you’ve truly seen an issue you can’t ever un-see it. That’s why they say ignorance is bliss.

I can tell that my caring makes people uncomfortable sometimes. When I talk a lot about the things that I care about, I become “one of those people” who ruin everyone else’s fun. I hope I don’t sound braggadocios in this post or like I’m praising myself for caring. There are plenty of people who care more then me and have devoted their whole lives to caring. I hope to be like them someday. But tonight I just wanted to share my unfiltered heart with whoever is willing to listen.